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Subject: Re: REALISE THE REALITY
To: Raymond Etiebet <ngrayetiebet@hotmail.com>
From: Jonathan Land <jland@incomplete.net>
Date: 07/30/2001

Mr Jona,
Thank you for your response, which one are you?

I am the "bad boy", my collaborators are known as "the cute one", "the shy one", "the one dating Britney Spears", and "the one boinking the cute one".

Which one are you?

I don't know what is wrong with you it seem as if you are not very serious about this matter, or do you think am here for fun, if am to deal with plants or flowers I would have go to the normal routine, look this transaction is what I and my colleagues relies on for our future purpose, as you know we are just an ordinary civil servants on a public figure is as if the money coming in for us is as much, but we need to survive, why can't you just think and reason with me, we are in need of your assistance on this transaction for both of us to be able to realise something at the end of the day.

Would you believe that you're the second Nigerian government official to ask me about my level of gravity towards a financial situation today? I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I'm not a serious guy, but I am as serious as your average student film, and when I'm being sincere, I'm as serious as a sideways suppository.

I certainly do not think you're here for fun because you appear to be entirely humorless. You must be a lonely man come Friday night... if you celebrate Friday nights in Nigeria. I'm worried about you, you should really loosen up, you'll have a heart attack by the time you're X (where "X" equals your current age + 2 years).

As for your dealings with "plants or flowers", I was lead to believe that the money which we're talking about is to go to an irrigation system, not your personal horticultural activities. It doesn't really matter, the only green I care about is the green in my pocket, not on your thumb... but if your thumb have been greened by putting your hand in my pocket... My pet rabbit will have to rip it clear off your wrist. She's vicious... seriously.

Seriously, I'm down with the plan, Stan. What's the next step?

Please, let me know what you are on to, and let me know your mind instead of one thing to be Two things at a time.

I find your proverbs as fascinating as they are unfathomable. Chalk it up to cultural differences. Anyhoo, from what I gather you are asking me... I can assure you that I am of one mind in my dealing with this situation... I am a very dedicated person. As a matter of fact, if I were to listen to the women in my life, I bet each and every last one of them would vigorously affirm for you that I have a one track mind.

Am waiting for your urgent response.
Hon Raymond Etiebet

Done! Where do we go from here?
Jon

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