Is it a boy? is it a girl? NO! it's a Bush! Proudly hand out these wonderful cigars in celebration of the election of our 43rd President, George W. Bush. These hand-rolled Cuban seed cigars made in the state of Florida, are a fine holiday gift to pass amongst your friends.
Florida is the state that won the presidency for George W. Bush, and in tribute to this accomplishment, we offer these fine cigars for sale to our fellow Americans at a truly great price! And remember folks, "It's a Bush!"
GIVE IT TO YOUR FAVORITE LIB.
Dear "Patriot",
As a staunch Patrick Buchanan supporter, I find your product to be both morally reprehensible, and a further slap in the face for those of us True Republicans who have been forced to carry the torch under the Reform Party banner. And as anyone who carries a torch under a banner can tell you, we're all feeling pretty burned.
Wasn't it enough that your boy, Bush watered down The Good Fight to dupe some would-be Democrats into thinking, "Hey, man, those Republican dudes aren't half bad. After I'm done smoking this marijuana cigarette, I'm going to show my support. Wowsers, I'm growing tentacles."?!?!?!? Is this who we really want in The Club running things? Can't the Good People support ourselves anymore? Bush is weak. I'd accept a vote from a Democrat shortly before I'd accept a lung from a minority! When did we lose control?
With this product that you're advertising, not only is Your President directly endorsing the illegal import of trade from Cuba, but he's supporting President Clinton's favorite tool of adulterous sodomy. Did you think America would forget THAT incident? Do you? Well we here in Pat's camp certainly didn't, but I guess that's just because we care about the fate of humanity! There are rules and morals that have governed our society in times of crisis, and we must respect them. I did not touch alcohol in the 20s, because It Was Not Right for societal reasons, and I will not smoke cigars now, because they are no longer What Is Right FOR SOCIETAL REASONS, and if we are not Right, we are WRONG, and WRONG IS WRONG, and most importantly, WRONG IS UN-AMERICAN!
At times like this, I wish the Lord allowed me to use profanity, because, God help me, I'd call you a motherfucker. Lucky for you I won't use the term because it would fall on deaf ears since the action it represents is such a high-water mark of status in your community.
First Reagan becomes a senile buffoon, then the Wall Street Journal turns into the Village Voice, and now this. If I wasn't so ill to begin with, you'd make me sick.
If I weren't so American or unhealthy, I'd leave this country,
Sgt. Jonathan Land (Ret.)
President, Friends of Patrick Buchanan, Florida Chapter
