Author's Note: Original spam donated by Linda Powers.
Subject: Re: ºÏ?÷
From: Jonathan Land <firstname.lastname@example.org>
First please forgive me of writing to you without your permit . My factory is located in Jiangsu Province of Main Land China., we are specially in making all kinds of glass crafts for holidays, our products varied from spun glass to mouth blown glass ornaments, there must be of some kinds fit your favorites.
We will attract you with the high quality products of competitive price. We can assure you that both of us will get benefit from the cooperation! We own about 150 skillful employees at present , and we could ensure you prompt shipment and good quality.
Your designs are welcome. Your early reply will be appreciated .
My name is Jonathan Land, and I run a small business where we can use glass products. I attempted to go to your website to see what you have to offer, but it appeared to be down. Do you have any images of your products you can send me, or another site you can point me to?
You sound like a great company. You own so many skillful employees! I tried to own employees once, but I had to feed and shelter them because they were so whiny about those things! Give me a break! If my giant fishing net hadn't scooped them up before the INS got there, the only thing they'd have "mouth blown" is their damn innertubes so they could paddle their illegal asses back to Cuba! Instead I wound up "renting" high school kids for minimum wage. You guys have much better labor practices over there, let me tell you.
I also appreciate the fact that you're into hand production and are not one of those factory glass places. Like you claim in your e-mail, I bet you have something "mouth blown" that'll "fit my favorites". Speaking of blown Glass, have you seen the latest reworking of his opera, "Einstein on the Beach in the Bitch"? The composer himself receives oral sex on stage for about 5 hours with no intermission. And here I was thinking all these years that it was just musical masturbation! I now see the piece in a totally different light. So much so, I want to gouge out my eyes.
Anyway, please tell me how I can see your products, and I'm looking forward to doing business with you.
The Chewing Glass Corporation.